Foto sekadar hiasan. Hai. Aku sekarang di awal 30an dan aku sudah hampir 4 tahun berkahwin dengan suami. Kami masih belum punya zuriat disebabkan keadaan ekonomi masing-masing yang tak berapa nak stabil. Aku masa bujang just orang biasa-biasa saja hobi pun kadang random. Berubah ikut masa. Aku seorang yang extrovert aku suka bersembang keluar jumpa kawan-kawan or explore cari tempat makan best-best serta melancong dengan kawan-kawan.
Tapi sejak berkahwin, semua tu da terkubur. Suami aku seorang gamer tegar. Bangun tidur terus on PC, balik kerja terus on PC.
Lepas mandi dia terus in-game. Dia tak suka keluar ke tempat yang ramai orang. Dan tak suka bersosial. So hari-hari aku memang kat rumah.
Kalau nak keluar pun, masa lunch waktu kerja aku keluar la mana-mana as a me time. Weekend mostly memang hanya duduk kat rumah saja. Bosan? Aku da jadi lali. Bosan dengan aku da sebati.
Bila aku tegur, dia akan melenting cakap yang aku tak pernah nak support hobi dia and bagi alasan yang dengan main game tu saja cara dia nak release stress penat bekerja nak happy happy apa semua. So ape saja pilihan aku ada? Diam jelah.
Pernah kantoi dengan aku bermesej dengan perempuan lain mesra- mesra dekat discord and in-game gelak-gelak dengan perempuan lain.
Sama jelah dengan kawan-kawan dia tu yang mostly da bapak-bapak orang dah. Memang gduh paling besar sampai aku terdetik nak sebut suruh cer4ikan aku. Tapi tak tersebut sebab aku taknak terlalu ikutkan emosi.
Aku taknak cerita pasal ni sebab aku akan jadi skit hati bila ingat balik. Tapi ni punca aku jadi aku yang sekarang.
Berbulan aku ambil masa nak pulihkan emosi. Even sekarang pun belum fully okay lagi. Sebab aku terlalu percayakan dia dengan game dan kawan-kawan dia.
Suami aku sayang betul dengan kawan-kawan dia. Diorang ajak itu onz. Ajak main game ni, onz.
Senang cerita kawan-kawan dia la yang banyak meracun dia untuk main game apa beli game apa semua lah. Drag main game sampai ke pagi. Tak kisah pun isteri buat apa kat sebelah.
Yakin sangat kot isteri dia okay sebab diam saja kan takde bising-bising. Aku tau saja dalam group whatsapp diaorang tu apa yang diaorang sembangkan.
Yang sorang tukang hantar gambar perempuan s3ksi, sorang tukang racun itu ini, sorang tukang acah pandai nasihat, eh macam-macam lah. Sebab tu kot suami aku rasa cukup.
Aku ingat lagi salah sorang kawan game dia tu pernah bagi nasihat paling hebat sekali kat suami aku masa nak kahwin dulu.
Katanya kalau nak enjoy main game even da kahwin, jangan ada anak lagi. Sampai kau betul-betul ready baru plan untuk ada anak.
So sampai sekaranglah kitorang tak pernah berusaha ke arah tu. Even aku pernah suarakan yang aku nak ada zuriat, dia cakap buat apa?
Sebab kawan-kawan awak semua da ada anak? Nak ikut kawan-kawan? Ekonomi kita pun tak stabil lagi ni. Dan macam-macam lagi lah.
Haih. Dia yakin kot rahim aku ni immortal takde tarikh luput macam sperm dia tu. Kalau bab nafkah, zahir dia okay lagi tak pernah culas.
Cuma bab batin, setahun 5-6x saja kot. Tu pun ikut mood. Alasan dia, maggi 2 minit. Faham-faham la ya aku malas nak explain direct.
Oh suami aku perok0k tegar. Bangun tidur rok0k, sebelum tidur rok0k. Tapi dia merok0k luar rumah. Aku pulak membesar dalam keluarga yang ayah & abang-abang aku tak merok0k. So aku memang tak boleh hidu langsung bau rok0k.
Sebelum kahwin dulu dia janji nak stop and layan vape/pod pulak. Tapi awal kahwin tu dia stop and merok0k balik sebab alasan dia susah nak recoil la nak cari flavor best lah ape lah. And alasan nak jimat duit so dia beli rok0k murah.
Tapi aku memang tak boleh terima keadaan dia masuk tidur dengan muka, badan dan tangan bau asap rok0k.
Dia basuh tangan, tapi still ada bau asap tu. Tidur aku memang tak bersentuh dengan dia pun. Taktau la. Mixed feeling.
Nak kata benci yang terkumpul, atau sebab aku tak suka bau rok0k. Belum cerita lagi cadar katil cepat kotor dan busuk sebab bau asap rok0k yang melekat dekat badan dia.
Kalau aku balik kampung seminggu, rumah jadi macam bau kepam bujang. Aku taktau nak explain. Yang kemasnya siapa?
Aku. Kerja rumah mostly aku yang buat. Dia buat bila dia rasa rajin. Even aku da pernah buat keras tak kemas nak tengok dia buat ke tak, haram nak buat. Aku tak selesa sebab kotor last-last aku buat sendiri semua.
Aku jadi da tak kisah ape dia nak buat. Kalau aku kisah, jawapan and respond dia memang akan buat aku skit hati. Lagi-lagi kalau dia buat muka terpaksa dia tu.
So aku amalkan konsep pergi mampos. Dia nak main game 24 jam? Aku tak ambil kisah. Dia taknak spend time dengan aku?
Keluar tengok wayang, shopping, bercuti? Aku tak kisah. Aku pergi sorang time lunch hour office. kitorang keluar kalau beli barang dapur saja.
Sebulan sekali. Haha. Dia taknak anak lagi? Aku tak kisah. Orang tanya kenapa takde anak lagi, aku diam saja. Hek takde hok pun takde.
Sebab aku tau, bukan aku yang taknak. Tapi aku yakin Allah da susun atur perjalanan hidup aku.
Mungkin kalau aku ada anak sekarang tapi dengan keadaan emosi aku dengan suami dingin, keadaan suami yang tak boleh berenggang dengan PC kesayangan tu, aku akan jadi sewel meroyan or end up bercer4i.
Aku tak nak buat mak ayah aku sedih tengok keadaan anak perempuan tunggal diaorang ni.
Kadang aku rasa even aku da berstatus isteri orang, aku tetap si bujang. Orang nampak aku happy, tapi hakikatnya aku tak bahagia dengan perkahwinan aku. Kalau cerita pasal “kalau” soalan yang selalu timbul adalah kalaulah aku tak kahwin dengan dia.
Kalaulah aku stay bujang jaga mak ayah mesti lagi bagus emosi tak seteruk ni terganggu. Kalaulah suami aku tak panas baran. Kalaulah suami aku tak merok0k.
Kalaulah aku lebih tegas dalam memilih pasangan ikut nasihat mak suruh pilih yang tak merok0k yang tak panas baran. Cerita kalau memang best. Hahaha.
Aku cuma mencari tempat untuk meluah. Even tak keseluruhannya. Tapi aku cuma nak nasihatkan pada yang belum berkahwin, carilah pasangan yang elok perangainya. Jaga solat 5 waktu. Hormat ibu bapa. Tak mer0kok. Tak panas baran.
Bukan gamer tegar yang taktau bahagikan masa. Rajin dan yang hormatkan kita as perempuan/ isteri. Before berkahwin, tambahlah ilmu rumah tangga.
Ada tujuan kenapa pergi kursus kahwin. Bukan masuk kursus atas sebab nak sijil saja tapi dalam kursus tidur or main game kat phone.
Cinta semata saja tak jamin kau hidup selesa or bahagia. Sebab hati kita boleh berubah. Bila2 masa saja aku kau dia boleh hil4ng rasa.
Kita taktau. Tapi keadaan sekeliling yang akan bagi kesan. Aku bukan nasihat kosong, tapi ni atas pengalaman aku sendiri.
Untuk elakkan diri korang dari sebarang gangguan emosi yang melampau. Kahwin tak sama macam bercinta bila-bila kau boleh minta putus.
Walau percer4ian itu halal, tetap Allah tak suka. Betulkan kalau aku salah. Terima kasih sudi baca. Sekian…
Ini antara reaksi netizen mengenai isu h0t ni.
Aina. Makcik rasa dia x minat beristeri dan berkeluarga.. Org lain pun main gak game… Tp xdelah biadab camni… Nasihat makcik kau pulangkan lah dia balik pd mak bapak dia… Jd isteri utk di jaga dan disantuni.. Bkn dibiar terabai sampai jd tukun tiruan Xyah bela biawak hidup dik…
Sara.Walau percer4ian tu halal, Allah tak suka .Akak terbalikkan je la ayat tu: walau Allah tak suka, perceraaian tu halal.
Apo la pusing2 lagi solution depan mata
Siti. Bila awak kata awak macam bersyukur belum ada anak sebab perangai laki awak , saya teringat 1 confession yang lama , dah bertahun dah
Perempuan tu selalu ambil pil perancang taknak mengandung .
Sebab taknak anak dengan lelaki taguna
Sambil tu dia bagi strong dia punya financial .
Dah okay , terus angkat kaki .
Dah kawen lain , melekat anak bersusun dengan lelaki yang lebih baik .
Ariana. You kerja kan, ada duit. Why not every week you ajak mak/ayah keluar bercuti. Tidur hotel dalam daerah pon tak pe asalkan jangan terperuk dirumah. Kalau boleh buat every week.
Or kalau malas nak keluar pon, pegi lepak rumah mak/ayah. Kalau rumah mak ayah jauh, just keluar pi ambil angin.
Pusing² bandar then malam baru balik. Kalau suami tu terasa kehil4ngan, mesti dia ajak slow talk. Kalau dia masih buat derk, dah boleh plan pergi bercuti jauh sikit luar negeri.
Tolong fikirkan kesihatan ment4l sendiri. Suami tu, biar pi dulu. Enjoi je sementara masih ada peluang ok.
Aisha. Bukan susah pon ko main game jugak mcm dia. Jgn buat keja rumah, jgn buat apa pon, apa dia buat ko buat. Cr kawan jugak sembang mcm dia sembang.
Nnt dia dh berbulu tgk ko, ko ckp dia x support…ko bg blk paku buah keras. Lama2 dia paham la tu. Tp ko la kena tahan bau rumah kepam sementara nk bg dia sedar
Kredit : ekota
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